Passover in the Jailhouse Big Tent Story #44

We pushed on and discussed the three images from Rabban Gamaliel. With everything that resonated for them they responded with a kind of vibrational hum from within their chests that moved through the room like working the bass pedals on a Hammond B-3 organ like the thrum of locusts when what they heard settled within them a low hum that went through the room suggesting this pertains to me. Hummmmm.

Pesach: We discussed the Rashi that God jumps in jumps out of our story at least that’s the way it feels and the secret of the Pesach is the secret Moses whispered to us before we left on the night of conscious watching leil shimurim: jumping in jumping out in the God’s eye view of things it’s all the same: I am always with you. Hummmmm.

Then we turned to the bitter herb maror and the mirror we look into each day a gaze into our personal narrowness I explained the dual form and the hint that what we are looking at is ourselves. In the prison house there isn’t much these guys can do about the external freedom but the inner life is theirs, it belongs to them and whatever it is this year that is no longer large enough to hold them it’s time to leave the narrows and that’s what it means to get free, but these are words and ideas, we say them talky talky and then we go about the year getting free. Hummmmm.

We saved the matzah talk for last. What is matzah I opened with, cleaning out the inner puffiness that separates us from God and all we love the most. It’s lean and it pure and it’s the experience of clarity and commitment and it’s the emptying out of ideas and behaviors that no longer serve, the bread of faith by the Zohar the continuum of substance matzah and chametz, that we are what we are becoming — we are becoming what we are — we have it within us to be what we are growing toward, hummmmm.

We had come a long way in an hour and at the end of the session the guys took some time to reflect on what we said and make it [more] personal. One guy who knows a lot has studied but without a teacher so he pronounces everything in his own way said the Hebrew word that means “remember.” Yes, that word goes with another word that means to keep or protect: Shamor. To protect what we learn, remember and protect, write it down I said let’s take the next week and write down what we talked about today the implications. Then you’ll remember it better, you will protect it write it down and bring it to the next session.

They are wary about writing stuff down it’s a matter of trust I have found. They don’t trust maybe someone will see it who could use it against them but we are getting over that. That’s one of the senses of freedom we discussed: We are getting over what hasn’t worked for us. We are getting free in the ways we can. Hummmmm.

These stories I call Big Tent: The next hurdle is to tell the stories. We have been too secret with our stories. Confidentiality does not mean secrecy. Secrecy is part of the problem. Thus this series: Big Tent.


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