No Big Deal? Or Big Ordeal

Are you making a big ordeal out of things that are really not a big deal?

“I called and left her a message and she didn’t call me back!”

“He hasn’t called me yet.  I’m not interested . . . “

“He didn’t ask me one question about myself.”

“She didn’t ask me one question about myself.”

I agree that these things demonstrate lack of social graces, but they are not indicative of a bad person, and not even of a bad match.  They are not even a predictor of future relationship success.  So many things in life are not a big deal but we turn them into a big ordeal.

“But he didn’t walk me to my car!” 

“He didn’t open the door for me.”

“He didn’t offer to buy me a drink!”

Of the people who do and say all the right things at the beginning of the relationship, about half end in divorce, adultery, or abuse.  If you were to get a divorce, would it be your fault, or would it be your partner’s fault?  Or would it just be a bad match?  Or would it be due to your spouse’s poor social skills?

Try to move beyond the superficial and investigate to find out what a person is really like inside.  People who make the best impression are not necessarily the best llife-long partners.  Not saying or doing exactly the right thing is not a big deal.  A divorce is a big ordeal.  Look deeper and make a commitment to finding a good person~a really good deal!  Helping someone who is a little rough around the edges become a great person~the best deal!

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