Do You Even Know HOW To Have A Relationship?

How hard can it be, right?

It makes me very sad that there are so many lonely people who have no idea how to form a relationship with another person. Right now, things are upside-down in the world. Nevertheless, this is a great time to start cultivating a long-term relationship. By meeting online, talking on the phone, WhatsApp, or Facetime. And you can absolutely meet in person while taking precautions. I meet with many people on a regular basis. Stop making feeble excuses. You have probably been making excuses your entire life and this is just more important one.

The world is filled with possibilities.

Are you a good friend? It is very similar. Really.

A good relationship~and marriage~is Advanced Friendship 101.

Talking, listening, caring, concern, warmth, understanding, trustworthy, thoughtfulness, discussions, taking turns, figuring it out, sharing, working it out, generosity, giving, and (some!) taking, helpfulness, understanding, not bullying, not hurting, not threatening, not demanding, not one-upping, not controlling, not whining, not blaming, not shaming, not accusing, not name-calling, not hurling insults. Keeping your word, being sensitive to your partner, kindness, support . . .

Put your partner’s needs first. Don’t wait to see what they’re doing for you. I know what you’re thinking: Are they reciprocating?

If you go into it with ideas of what you are going to bring forth to the relationship instead of what you will receive, it will be very different from previous situations you have been in.

And that might be exactly what you need.

Who is Paula Sparks?
Sparks Matchmaking connects Jewish individuals for companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 22 couples are married and 12 couples are happily dating or in long-term relationships. That’s 60 very happy people and most of them in St. Louis! You could be next. Read all the articles on the blog. They are all meant for you.


  1. Ann Tullman

    Great advice Paula! I read this several times. Keep me in mind. Be safe and well. Ann

  2. Dr. Marc Dicker, MA, PHD, PA, DFAAPA

    Dear Paula
    What you have expressed in this message comprises essential ingredients for establishing and prolonging very special relationships. While “score keeping” is inherently damaging to loving relationships, it is paramount that there is BALANCE. In that there is EQUIVALENT give and take where both parties don’t feel used, subjected, controlled, or feeling as if they are on the losing side of a relationship.
    Forging a new relationship is stressful with risks but benefits can be priceless. Aloneness is emotionally and physically damaging. Give love another chance!!!

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