Constant Contact and Your Relationship!

SPARK YOUR MATCH: Dating Issues for Our Millennium By Paula Sparks Sparks Matchmaking Constant Contact and Your Relationship! ~on jewishinstlouis.org! Rosh HaShannah and Yom Kippur are upon us. Are you making plans to go to temple or synagogue for your two-day pilgrimage to cover the entire year’s spiritual needs? Once or twice or three times in a year is not enough. God likes Constant Contact! He’d prefer to hear from us every day (or night) to check in, just like the parent of a college student. “Hi, Mom!” “Nice to hear from you, Sweetie! How are your classes?” “Everything is good! Could I have some more money? Thanks, I love you!” Relationships with people need constant contact, too, or they could start to disintegrate, which can unfortunately lead down the road toward divorce. At the beginning of a new relationship, constant contact is too much, but as the connection develops, staying in touch is fundamental. “How are you? What ‘s new?” Don’t drop the ball~not with God, and not with people you care about, including that potentially special someone. Keep in touch and let them know you care about them and are thinking of them. Happy New Year and the best for great relationships in 5779! Who is Paula Sparks? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 12 couples are happily dating or in long-term relationships. That’s 60 very happy people and most of them in St....

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There is NOT a Man Shortage!

What is the first thing you do every morning? I look at the obituaries. Not to be morbid, but because funerals are last minute, I need to know if I must run out to a funeral or shivah that day. What my research has unearthed (sorry!) is that many women (unfortunately) predecease their husbands. So if you think there are no men, it’s not true. The divorce rate is holding at 50% so men and women are recirculated every day. That’s the reality. In some cities and in some age categories, there are more men than women. No age group is higher than 57% women! Here is proof from the census bureau: https://www.statista.com/ statistics/241488/population- of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/ And some statistics for the single population: https://www.census.gov/ newsroom/facts-for-features/ 2017/single-americans-week. html This is a not a positive subject, but negativity will get you nowhere. I am not implying that you should look in the paper for a new widower and bring him a casserole, although that is appropriate sometimes. I am suggesting that you change your attitude and seek out companionship and friendship, people with whom you might enjoy sharing some activities, because otherwise it is a lonely world, as you know. This may seem weird, but it is not: you could meet someone at a funeral or shivah house. Men don’t usually play mah jongg (but women who play have brothers and cousins and neighbors!!) but they often watch sports, follow politics, and go to funerals and shivahs. There are many places to meet people. Almost anywhere! The problem is actually that there is a shortage of “desirable” men! There are many nice men whom women will not consider. And what about all the men who never marry? Some of them are like a kid in a candy store! Others just don’t know how to make it happen. They need our help to get together with a nice woman (you!). I have said so many times that we all need to be kind, generous, sweet, gentle, and more accepting. Those traits are more important than the where’s, what’s, and who’s. They will also make you more desirable for the “good” men before they get grabbed by someone else. The men are very selective, too. Open your eyes and your heart to people and places you have never before considered. Go places where you don’t know a soul (sorry!!!!!) and isn’t that the point? Go out of your home and you might meet someone or people who have neighbors, sisters, brothers, cousins, grandchildren, and if you are nice, and you tell people that you are available, they might think of you! Who is Paula Sparks? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 12 couples are happily dating or in long-term relationships. That’s 60 very happy people and most of them in St....

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Rosh HaShanah~Time For A New Relationship!

SPARK YOUR MATCH: Dating Issues for Our Millennium By Paula Sparks Sparks Matchmaking Rosh HaShanah: Time For A New Relationship~ The High Holidays are coming and I am always happy to see throngs of Jews swarming into temples and synagogues on Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. After Yom Kippur, however, I am dismayed when most people vanish until the following year. The High Holidays are referred to as Yomin Noraim, Days of Awe, which also translates as Days of Fear. Are we frightened into coming to temple???? If we skip it will something bad happen to us? Do we need to pray just once a year to cover the entire year ahead? We learned long ago that “on Rosh Hashanah it is written and on Yom Kippur it is sealed.” So we seem to believe something is happening beyond what we can see. Something meta. Millions of people participate in 12-step programs, in which a main element is a Higher Power. If you’d like to meet your soul mate this new year, try going to temple a few more times throughout the year. Some very nice people go to the musical Friday night service and for yartzeits. In fact, I introduced a couple a few months ago at synagogue and they are now very happily going to synagogue together, as well as other things! That’s not exactly the point of this article though. God has big ears and a bigger heart. But he is like your mother: He wants to hear from you more than once a year! He wants to know how you’re doing all of the time. He wants to be a big part of your life, to help you figure out how to meet someone. If you have not formed an adult relationship with God, this would be a fine time. A lot of people are looking to make big changes around the new year but they can’t figure out how. Keep trying to reach your goals and report to God and ask for help to get where you want to be, not just on Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. How about on Shavuot? Purim. Sukkot. Every week on Shabbat. Check in every day because our Jewish spiritual heritage reminds us to be grateful for kindness and goodness we receive. With humility, we extend that kindness to others. We must improve our social skills and make a greater effort to meet people. May our prayers lead us to be kinder and gentler to everyone, to nurture our softer and sweeter side with those we would like to develop a relationship, striving to bring out the best in each other. Even if you are not sure that God is Avinu Malkeinu, our Father our King, it is worth asking for help because God is the ULTIMATE MATCHMAKER! Wishing you success in finding your relationship in 5778! Who is Paula? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 11 couples are happily dating or in long-term...

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Let My Mistakes Be The Secret To Your Happiness!

Please share this blog with your available friends~~ I am 57 and my life is fraught with decades of embarrassing mistakes~financial, school, work, people~sometimes even mistakes that are dangerous and scary. I’ve been matchmaking since 1979 . . . that’s 38 years of mistakes related to matchmaking. Thousands of attempted connections that didn’t develop into relationships, some people who get screaming mad at me, a few who badmouth me around town. My first successful couple has been together since 1982. that’s 35 years! And many more matchmaking successes since 1982 Out of my mass quantity of failures and disappointments, are 60 real-live people who are now blissfully happy (married or LTR’s). 60 people whom I fixed up or they were willing to attend one of my activities and met someone there. So many smashing successes born of trial and error Some of my mistakes have been a difficult burden to bear, overwhelmingly painful for me to even think about. But I do not give up. I keep pushing myself to try new and different programs and opportunities: SparksPlugs, SpeedDating nights, activities at many locations in hope of attracting more people to interact and meet. I wrack my brain to think of potential matches~what about Alexander for Caroline? Markos for Minnie? Jackson for Tillie or Ellie for Anthony? I never give up on you and you shouldn’t either! I’ll put myself on the line and make an attempt for you if I think there is any chance of it happening. The happy couples are not all beautiful and wonderful and perfect. They mostly are like you and me, flawed and struggling. A lot of great couples would not be together if not for my failings. I have made more mistakes than you have, and so much good has come from my errors. To some degree life is a big numbers game. The relationship game and the jobs game, too. You’ll get discouraged and feel defeated at times. If you are not where you want to be, think of more ideas. Be open to possibilities! Try different things and make blunders, big and small, until something finally rocks. It is truly from experiments that new possibilities are created, for you. Who is Paula Sparks? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of dating, marriage, and Jewish continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 11 couples happily dating or in long-term...

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WHO KNEW? It Can Happen To You!

Did you watch America’s Got Talent when 12-year-old Grace VanderWaal got the golden buzzer, and subsequently won the million dollar prize? She put herself out there, willing to take a chance, tried her best, and won big-time. She sang her heart out and took a big risk for “failure,” disappointment, and embarrassment. I have seen many people and acts get rejected by the judges! She is pretty and sweet and innocent, she dresses cute and has good manners and friendly personality, smiles and acts and speaks humbly and appreciatively, mature beyond her twelve years. It was her singing and songwriting talent and musical skill and willingness to present them to the world that won her the prize and changed her life. It’s exciting, dynamic, amazing, wonderful. A thrilling and unexpected surprise! I am so happy whenever I watch her win, just like I feel when two people get married and are very happy for many years. Miracles. That is what I want for you in your search for a great relationship. Grace’s purity and sweetness won her the favor of the judges and the crowd. For the rest of us, we need to take new chances, ALWAYS TRY OUR VERY, VERY BEST, and offer our best selves. I am doing my best for you and you must do it for yourself. I can send opportunities your way but I can’t “make it happen”~only you can seize all opportunity and make it happen for yourself. Aim for the stars and seek out the relationship of your dreams. Don’t look back. Keep trying different approaches until something clicks. When you find it, it is all of those things~exciting, dynamic, amazing, thrilling, a welcome and wonderful life-transforming game-changer! Who knew? This is what I want for YOU!!!!!!! Who is Paula? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of dating, marriage, and Jewish continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 9 couples are happily dating or in long-term...

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Get Moving To Meet Someone In 2017

It’s a good bet that you won’t meet many new people sitting and relaxing at home in your pj’s. Unless you live in a multi-unit building and you’re sitting in the common area. I personally know four couples who met at their condo or apartment complexes! The more places you go, the greater the possibilities. Try new places and activities. Classes, pilates, political rallies, outdoors groups, book groups, harmonica club, guitar group, movie reviews, meet-up groups, dance groups, computer classes, the pool, yoga classes, sporting clubs, Sparks programs . . . there are probably some interests you didn’t even know you have. You might need to reach outside your comfort zone. Go to synagogue or temple regularly throughout the year, not just on High Holy Days. I know of three couples who met there, too! Try different temples and let people know you want to meet people. Move A LOT more. Exercise with a friend or get a trainer. I know of at least one happy couple who met at the gym! You need a better routine for your current and future health and well-being and it will help you to meet someone better and stay alive to enjoy your relationship~ Walking your dog in your hood and outside your immediate area is a great way to meet people. I know of many couples who met on line: jdate, match.com, eharmony, plentyof fish, jwed, tinder, and there are many more. Have you tried them all seriously? Hey, you can do that at home in your pj’s! The men like slim and active and dynamic. So do the women. Get off your butt and move it! And then, you need to know what to do after you meet them. Wishing you success in getting moving to find your relationship in 2017~ Tennis, anyone?? Who is Paula? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of dating, marriage, and Jewish continuity.  So far, 18 couples are married and 10 additional couples are happily dating or in long-term...

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