Rosh HaShanah~Time For A New Relationship!

SPARK YOUR MATCH: Dating Issues for Our Millennium By Paula Sparks Sparks Matchmaking Rosh HaShanah: Time For A New Relationship~ The High Holidays are coming and I am always happy to see throngs of Jews swarming into temples and synagogues on Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. After Yom Kippur, however, I am dismayed when most people vanish until the following year. The High Holidays are referred to as Yomin Noraim, Days of Awe, which also translates as Days of Fear. Are we frightened into coming to temple???? If we skip it will something bad happen to us? Do we need to pray just once a year to cover the entire year ahead? We learned long ago that “on Rosh Hashanah it is written and on Yom Kippur it is sealed.” So we seem to believe something is happening beyond what we can see. Something meta. Millions of people participate in 12-step programs, in which a main element is a Higher Power. If you’d like to meet your soul mate this new year, try going to temple a few more times throughout the year. Some very nice people go to the musical Friday night service and for yartzeits. In fact, I introduced a couple a few months ago at synagogue and they are now very happily going to synagogue together, as well as other things! That’s not exactly the point of this article though. God has big ears and a bigger heart. But he is like your mother: He wants to hear from you more than once a year! He wants to know how you’re doing all of the time. He wants to be a big part of your life, to help you figure out how to meet someone. If you have not formed an adult relationship with God, this would be a fine time. A lot of people are looking to make big changes around the new year but they can’t figure out how. Keep trying to reach your goals and report to God and ask for help to get where you want to be, not just on Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. How about on Shavuot? Purim. Sukkot. Every week on Shabbat. Check in every day because our Jewish spiritual heritage reminds us to be grateful for kindness and goodness we receive. With humility, we extend that kindness to others. We must improve our social skills and make a greater effort to meet people. May our prayers lead us to be kinder and gentler to everyone, to nurture our softer and sweeter side with those we would like to develop a relationship, striving to bring out the best in each other. Even if you are not sure that God is Avinu Malkeinu, our Father our King, it is worth asking for help because God is the ULTIMATE MATCHMAKER! Wishing you success in finding your relationship in 5778! Who is Paula? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 11 couples are happily dating or in long-term...

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Let My Mistakes Be The Secret To Your Happiness!

Please share this blog with your available friends~~ I am 57 and my life is fraught with decades of embarrassing mistakes~financial, school, work, people~sometimes even mistakes that are dangerous and scary. I’ve been matchmaking since 1979 . . . that’s 38 years of mistakes related to matchmaking. Thousands of attempted connections that didn’t develop into relationships, some people who get screaming mad at me, a few who badmouth me around town. My first successful couple has been together since 1982. that’s 35 years! And many more matchmaking successes since 1982 Out of my mass quantity of failures and disappointments, are 60 real-live people who are now blissfully happy (married or LTR’s). 60 people whom I fixed up or they were willing to attend one of my activities and met someone there. So many smashing successes born of trial and error Some of my mistakes have been a difficult burden to bear, overwhelmingly painful for me to even think about. But I do not give up. I keep pushing myself to try new and different programs and opportunities: SparksPlugs, SpeedDating nights, activities at many locations in hope of attracting more people to interact and meet. I wrack my brain to think of potential matches~what about Alexander for Caroline? Markos for Minnie? Jackson for Tillie or Ellie for Anthony? I never give up on you and you shouldn’t either! I’ll put myself on the line and make an attempt for you if I think there is any chance of it happening. The happy couples are not all beautiful and wonderful and perfect. They mostly are like you and me, flawed and struggling. A lot of great couples would not be together if not for my failings. I have made more mistakes than you have, and so much good has come from my errors. To some degree life is a big numbers game. The relationship game and the jobs game, too. You’ll get discouraged and feel defeated at times. If you are not where you want to be, think of more ideas. Be open to possibilities! Try different things and make blunders, big and small, until something finally rocks. It is truly from experiments that new possibilities are created, for you. Who is Paula Sparks? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of dating, marriage, and Jewish continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 11 couples happily dating or in long-term...

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Get Moving To Meet Someone In 2017

It’s a good bet that you won’t meet many new people sitting and relaxing at home in your pj’s. Unless you live in a multi-unit building and you’re sitting in the common area. I personally know four couples who met at their condo or apartment complexes! The more places you go, the greater the possibilities. Try new places and activities. Classes, pilates, political rallies, outdoors groups, book groups, harmonica club, guitar group, movie reviews, meet-up groups, dance groups, computer classes, the pool, yoga classes, sporting clubs, Sparks programs . . . there are probably some interests you didn’t even know you have. You might need to reach outside your comfort zone. Go to synagogue or temple regularly throughout the year, not just on High Holy Days. I know of three couples who met there, too! Try different temples and let people know you want to meet people. Move A LOT more. Exercise with a friend or get a trainer. I know of at least one happy couple who met at the gym! You need a better routine for your current and future health and well-being and it will help you to meet someone better and stay alive to enjoy your relationship~ Walking your dog in your hood and outside your immediate area is a great way to meet people. I know of many couples who met on line: jdate, match.com, eharmony, plentyof fish, jwed, tinder, and there are many more. Have you tried them all seriously? Hey, you can do that at home in your pj’s! The men like slim and active and dynamic. So do the women. Get off your butt and move it! And then, you need to know what to do after you meet them. Wishing you success in getting moving to find your relationship in 2017~ Tennis, anyone?? Who is Paula? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of dating, marriage, and Jewish continuity.  So far, 18 couples are married and 10 additional couples are happily dating or in long-term...

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For Women Only~One Man’s Perspective

SPARK YOUR MATCH:  Dating Issues for Our Millennium By Paula Sparks Sparks Matchmaking FOR WOMEN ONLY: A Man’s Point of View Hello, nice women! There actually are a lot of men out there, but you don’t want most of them, you have informed me. A lot of them have never been married. A lot don’t have height, manners, income level, education level, good looks, personality, or profession. So you want one of the “desirable” ones? Let’s take heed! Many men have voiced it, but this man has put some of it in writing: “I have some observations from the MALE perspective! Many men agree that WOMEN could improve their dating behavior to increase the chances of leading to a meaningful and mutually satisfying relationship. These are things Jewish women need to hear, but it will REALLY piss them off! WHAT TO WEAR? Fuss a little even for a simple get-acquainted coffee meeting. Wear something nice, even if casual.  Wear some make up and jewelry, though no need to go over the top. The man should fuss as well. But I have been to many such meetings where the woman wore ZERO make up or jewelry and dressed like she was getting ready to clean the house! If you are going to bother to meet a man, at least look like you give a damn! Otherwise it is a major and easily avoidable turnoff. WHERE SHALL WE GO? If a man invites you for a first real date and going to dinner at a restaurant is on the agenda, if he makes any reasonable suggestion as to the place, be polite and accept that location. If it is a moderate place, do NOT blow it off, lobbying for a much more expensive place, with the assumption that the man is picking up the check.  This is NOT about the money! It is about showing that you are a quality woman, more interested in getting to know this man than snagging an expensive dinner.  Save those fancy places for subsequent anniversaries and special occasions! MENSCH OR JAP? If you are on your first dinner date, especially at an expensive restaurant, do NOT order the most expensive item on the menu!  Since for whatever reason, the man is expecting and expected to pick up the check, it is a major turn off, signifying selfishness or bad manners to order the most expensive items or wine. That has happened to me a few times and ticked me off! AGAIN It is NOT about the money!  It is about showing the man he is out with a MENSCH and not a JAP! THERE ARE TWO OF US HERE, RIGHT? On a first date, do NOT talk about yourself to the exclusion of all else.  Ask about him. Give the impression you are interested. This is about conveying to a man that you are giving by nature, a very attractive trait to men. Selfishness is a turnoff to BOTH genders. TOO MUCH INFORMATION? On the first date, do NOT tell him all your troubles.  We all have them, but he does not want to hear all about them at this stage.  If you become a couple, there is plenty of time to work together to help each other, as it should be. I once had...

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Top 8 Reasons to Date a JGuy this Hanukkah

As you know, Hanukkah begins this Saturday, Dec. 8. To kick off these eight crazy nights, the team at JDate.com, the leading online Jewish singles community, would like to give a special shout-out to Jewish men. Below is a list of JDate’s top eight reasons to date a “JGuy.” He loves his mama: JMoms play a huge influence in their kids’ lives. That cute Jew you’re eyeing was most likely raised with a strong mother and, as a result, will be more respectful of the other women in his life. The amazing food: Jewish cuisine has evolved to include flavors from all over the world, but still maintains its delicious traditions. Whether or not he keeps totally kosher, you’ll be noshing on some great foods ranging from challah bread to holiday latkes. He’s smart: Education is highly valued in the Jewish community, so odds are that he’s got at least a college degree. But being educated isn’t just about the paper – the drive to learn extends to the rest of his life as well. You’re in good company: Whether you’re into politics, music, literature, economics or anything creative, there have been some highly influential cultural players who are Jewish. The list includes Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, crooner Adam Levine, cutie Joseph Gordon-Levitt, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, as well as dozens of Nobel Prize winners and three of the current Supreme Court Justices. He’s a Mensch: JGuys have it in their blood to help others and give back to the community. Whether you want to volunteer at a local homeless shelter, clean up your local park or foster a pet, he’ll gladly join in right by your side. The new vocab: You’ll learn so many fun Yiddish expressions that you’ll be able to kibitz and schmooze with even the best yenta! He’ll keep you laughing: Whether you’re a fan of the boisterous jokers like Seth Rogen, love endless impressions from Adam Sandler, or want topical humor like that of Comedy Central Host Jon Stewart, there is truly no shortage of funny Jews. You get to celebrate for eight nights: As the world knows, the celebration of Hanukkah lasts for eight nights. But it’s not just the Festival of Lights that’ you’ll be observing with your JGuy – the Three Pilgrimage Festivals in the spring and High Holidays in the fall are additional meaningful opportunities to gather with family, friends and community...

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