Are You Positive Enough To Meet Someone?

I just read a great book, Meet To Marry by Bari Lyman. She describes how we need to create our own relationship and potential marriage future: You first need to imagine it and then it will manifest for you Are you thinking and saying negative things? A lot of people spew out negativity and have no clue they’re doing it. If circumstances aren’t going the way you want, in your relationship and in your life, you must catch yourself every time and reframe. Think of what you WANT to happen and send the message out into the universe. Think it and say it ONLY if that is what you want. Thoughts have immense, powerful energy and so do words. You must turn your situation around by thinking and saying positive messages. In this New Year, 5780, get help to identify your fears, mental blocks, and blind spots that are keeping you stuck. Do you feel like you don’t deserve love? Do you feel like you’re better than everyone else? I hear a LOT of “there are no new men.” Or “there is no one in this town.” Those things are totally untrue. Are you entrenched in negativity? Think and repeat TRUTHS ONLY: “There is someone for me and I’m getting ready to meet him.” “She is looking for me, too. I am a very good guy and I am a perfect match for that new woman.” Think and say, “New people move to town and people become available every day.” Also say, “I am working on my situation and improving my personality and outlook, making myself more attractive and desirable” Now do it! Think about the happiest, most successful people. They are positive in every way. Yes, they have reason to be, but they had to start out by imagining it true for themselves. They visualize new and wonderful people and places. And you will, too, from this moment forth. This New Year, wishing you the tweaks you need to create a dynamic new relationship for yourself and a special someone. Reverse your fate right now! Who is Paula Sparks? Sparks Matchmaking connects Jewish individuals for companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 20 couples are married and 12 couples are happily dating or in long-term relationships. That’s 60 very happy people and most of them in St. Louis! You could be next. Read all the articles on the blog. They are all meant for...

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Huh? God In Your Relationship??

Christians aren’t afraid to talk about God. Maybe that is why there are so many of them! They often say grace before they break bread together. Do we? Only a few of us do~ Because of our diverse lives, no two people experience God exactly the same way, but we all relate in some way, even if we question or doubt God’s existence as a diety/power/controlling force. We talk about everything EXCEPT God, even at the synagogue and temple. We talk about doing God’s work, tikun olam, but we often don’t mention God. We talk about prayer but when the prayers are in Hebrew, most of us don’t understand what we’re saying and the service moves so fast we can’t take time to ponder what we read. We’re not grasping the deeper spiritual elements of humility and gratitude that are essential in our lives. At temple, when we carry the Torah to return it to the Ark, we sing “Al shlosha dvarim . . . al HaTorah, v’al ha’avodah, v’al gmilut hasadim.” Most people have no idea what we’re singing, yet it’s the crux of Judaism from Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Fathers: “The world depends on three things: Torah, service to God, and deeds of lovingkindness.” What (in the world!) does this have to do with RELATIONSHIPS?? You don’t have to include God in your relationship. You can live a fine life and have a great relationship and marriage without temple or church or God. But if you bring God in, acknowledging how we are supposed to relate to God: ******THANK*PRAISE*REQUEST*ADORE*LOVE*RESPECT*************** Those behaviors translate to a loving and dynamic relationship with another person. A few years ago I had a Sukkah party. A woman came in late and I directed her to the sukkah where everyone was going over the blessings we do in a sukkah. Being just a few days after Yom Kippur, she informed me that she didn’t need any more blessings. Within a few years, she got cancer and unfortunately died. Is there a connection? I don’t know, but . . . I’ll take some extra blessings, please! And I could use some for my relationship. Thank God. Who is Paula Sparks? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 20 couples are married and 12 couples are happily dating or in long-term relationships. That’s 60 very happy people and most of them in St....

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Constant Contact and Your Relationship!

SPARK YOUR MATCH: Dating Issues for Our Millennium By Paula Sparks Sparks Matchmaking Constant Contact and Your Relationship! ~on jewishinstlouis.org! Rosh HaShannah and Yom Kippur are upon us. Are you making plans to go to temple or synagogue for your two-day pilgrimage to cover the entire year’s spiritual needs? Once or twice or three times in a year is not enough. God likes Constant Contact! He’d prefer to hear from us every day (or night) to check in, just like the parent of a college student. “Hi, Mom!” “Nice to hear from you, Sweetie! How are your classes?” “Everything is good! Could I have some more money? Thanks, I love you!” Relationships with people need constant contact, too, or they could start to disintegrate, which can unfortunately lead down the road toward divorce. At the beginning of a new relationship, constant contact is too much, but as the connection develops, staying in touch is fundamental. “How are you? What ‘s new?” Don’t drop the ball~not with God, and not with people you care about, including that potentially special someone. Keep in touch and let them know you care about them and are thinking of them. Happy New Year and the best for great relationships in 5779! Who is Paula Sparks? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 12 couples are happily dating or in long-term relationships. That’s 60 very happy people and most of them in St....

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Interfaith Couples Night Out Series Continues with Snack, Sip & Schmooze in the Sukkah

The Interfaith Couples Night Out Series, supported by the Jonas Weil Endowment of Jewish Federation of St. Louis, is back for another night out event at Congregation Temple Israel. All interfaith couples within the St. Louis Jewish community are invited to come and relax at Temple Israel, meet other interfaith couples from around the community, and together fulfill the mitzvah of sharing appetizers, adult beverages, and conversation in the Sukkah. Rabbi Amy Feder & Rabbi Michael Alper will lead an intriguing conversation on the true meanings of the annual harvest festival. Event Details: Thursday, September 27, 2018 At Congregation Temple Israel (#1 Rabbi Alvan D. Rubin Drive, St. Louis, MO 63141) 6:30 pm – 8:00 pm in the Sukkah In the Brodsky Circle facing Ladue Road. Will be held inside in case of inclement weather. $10 per person; free child care with registration Please RSVP by Thursday, September 20 at www.ti-stl.org/Sukkah Questions: Contact Interfaith Outreach Coordinator Jody Gerth at jogerth@ti-stl.org or...

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There is NOT a Man Shortage!

What is the first thing you do every morning? I look at the obituaries. Not to be morbid, but because funerals are last minute, I need to know if I must run out to a funeral or shivah that day. What my research has unearthed (sorry!) is that many women (unfortunately) predecease their husbands. So if you think there are no men, it’s not true. The divorce rate is holding at 50% so men and women are recirculated every day. That’s the reality. In some cities and in some age categories, there are more men than women. No age group is higher than 57% women! Here is proof from the census bureau: https://www.statista.com/ statistics/241488/population- of-the-us-by-sex-and-age/ And some statistics for the single population: https://www.census.gov/ newsroom/facts-for-features/ 2017/single-americans-week. html This is a not a positive subject, but negativity will get you nowhere. I am not implying that you should look in the paper for a new widower and bring him a casserole, although that is appropriate sometimes. I am suggesting that you change your attitude and seek out companionship and friendship, people with whom you might enjoy sharing some activities, because otherwise it is a lonely world, as you know. This may seem weird, but it is not: you could meet someone at a funeral or shivah house. Men don’t usually play mah jongg (but women who play have brothers and cousins and neighbors!!) but they often watch sports, follow politics, and go to funerals and shivahs. There are many places to meet people. Almost anywhere! The problem is actually that there is a shortage of “desirable” men! There are many nice men whom women will not consider. And what about all the men who never marry? Some of them are like a kid in a candy store! Others just don’t know how to make it happen. They need our help to get together with a nice woman (you!). I have said so many times that we all need to be kind, generous, sweet, gentle, and more accepting. Those traits are more important than the where’s, what’s, and who’s. They will also make you more desirable for the “good” men before they get grabbed by someone else. The men are very selective, too. Open your eyes and your heart to people and places you have never before considered. Go places where you don’t know a soul (sorry!!!!!) and isn’t that the point? Go out of your home and you might meet someone or people who have neighbors, sisters, brothers, cousins, grandchildren, and if you are nice, and you tell people that you are available, they might think of you! Who is Paula Sparks? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 12 couples are happily dating or in long-term relationships. That’s 60 very happy people and most of them in St....

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Rosh HaShanah~Time For A New Relationship!

SPARK YOUR MATCH: Dating Issues for Our Millennium By Paula Sparks Sparks Matchmaking Rosh HaShanah: Time For A New Relationship~ The High Holidays are coming and I am always happy to see throngs of Jews swarming into temples and synagogues on Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. After Yom Kippur, however, I am dismayed when most people vanish until the following year. The High Holidays are referred to as Yomin Noraim, Days of Awe, which also translates as Days of Fear. Are we frightened into coming to temple???? If we skip it will something bad happen to us? Do we need to pray just once a year to cover the entire year ahead? We learned long ago that “on Rosh Hashanah it is written and on Yom Kippur it is sealed.” So we seem to believe something is happening beyond what we can see. Something meta. Millions of people participate in 12-step programs, in which a main element is a Higher Power. If you’d like to meet your soul mate this new year, try going to temple a few more times throughout the year. Some very nice people go to the musical Friday night service and for yartzeits. In fact, I introduced a couple a few months ago at synagogue and they are now very happily going to synagogue together, as well as other things! That’s not exactly the point of this article though. God has big ears and a bigger heart. But he is like your mother: He wants to hear from you more than once a year! He wants to know how you’re doing all of the time. He wants to be a big part of your life, to help you figure out how to meet someone. If you have not formed an adult relationship with God, this would be a fine time. A lot of people are looking to make big changes around the new year but they can’t figure out how. Keep trying to reach your goals and report to God and ask for help to get where you want to be, not just on Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. How about on Shavuot? Purim. Sukkot. Every week on Shabbat. Check in every day because our Jewish spiritual heritage reminds us to be grateful for kindness and goodness we receive. With humility, we extend that kindness to others. We must improve our social skills and make a greater effort to meet people. May our prayers lead us to be kinder and gentler to everyone, to nurture our softer and sweeter side with those we would like to develop a relationship, striving to bring out the best in each other. Even if you are not sure that God is Avinu Malkeinu, our Father our King, it is worth asking for help because God is the ULTIMATE MATCHMAKER! Wishing you success in finding your relationship in 5778! Who is Paula? Sparks Matchmaking strives to connect Jewish individuals for the purpose of companionship, marriage, and continuity.  So far, 19 couples are married and 11 couples are happily dating or in long-term...

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