A First Date is an Interview – Not Therapy

Interview

Your date is not your therapist.  Period.  So why are you telling him or her your problems???  In therapy, you have to let it all hang out in order to get better.  But if you tell all to your date, you probably won’t have a second date.

A first encounter is the time to put your best foot forward.  You have only a few seconds to make your best impression.  It’s a lot like a job interview. Each party is checking each other out.  And, much like a job interview, there may be a little tension while you both strive to determine whether you’ll be a good match and whether to strike up a relationship.

In your personal and professional life, practice makes perfect. The more job interviews you go on, the more proficient you’ll become and the more suitable position you’ll likely find. You’ll learn to ask more relevant questions to discover if it’s a good fit for you.  Same goes for dating.

Making a good relationship happen involves a set of skills such as adjusting your schedule to allow another person into your life, maintaining good eye contact, asking appropriate questions – and being a great listener.  Enlist anyone who can help you hone your skills. You’ll be glad you did.

You must also improve or at least maintain a positive, upbeat attitude on each and every date.  Most people must go out with many prospects before meeting “the one.”  If you have a negative aura about you, you’ll repel even the right match.  Keep the date brief to help you maintain that upbeat attitude. After all, if you really don’t care for your prospect… it’s only an hour of torture.  Of course, I’m being  a little facetious here.  But meeting new people is supposed to be enjoyable, not a dreaded chore.

Practice, practice. Smooth out your dating skills until they come naturally.  Conversation will flow more smoothly and you will be able to relax a little and enjoy getting to know your date.  If you and your date can put each other at ease and share a laugh or two, it makes the whole darned situation easier on everyone.

Go on as many dates as you can and at some glorious moment, you and another person will click.  Both of you will resonate together.  It will make the entire drawn out process worthwhile. You’ll finally be in a situation that you love, with benefits.  It might even be cozy and comfortable, like a therapy session!

So remember, if you hope to see positive results, exude your most positive self. And don’t be boring!  But that’s another column . . . .

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